More Happy White People in Heaven!

via

Somebody Goofed

Holy Smoke

When Toby Elles fell asleep while cooking a late-night snack, it really was a case of divine intervention that saved his bacon.
The 22-year-old was 'miraculously' woken after an hour as his lounge filled with smoke – and quickly had the revelation that he had left a frying pan on a hob.
While saying his prayers, the bank worker scraped the remains of crispy bacon rashers from the pan, but could not believe the vision that appeared before him - Jesus Christ staring back at him.

full story here

(another miracle report from Brother Ben)

I believe that all dinosaurs were born of Satanic angel

from the ever vigilant Brother Ben:

Dallas County jail guard fired over anti-gay remarks


DALLAS (where else?) — A Dallas County jail guard recently fired after allegedly making anti-gay remarks and commenting about religion has said his free speech rights have been violated but he will not seek to regain his job.
A sheriff's department review concluded Stephen Johnson, 59, persisted in volunteering his religious opinions and speaking out against homosexuality.
Johnson, after nearly 17 years with the department, was fired Jan. 20 for conduct unbecoming an officer and for lying to internal affairs, the Dallas Morning News reported Tuesday.
Johnson in October interrupted a private conversation among jail staff and “interjected his own opinions,” telling them all gays should be annihilated, according to a sheriff's report.
“They made it out to be that I was a bigot. I was fired ‘cause I hurt someone else's feelings,” Johnson said Monday. He said that his free speech rights were violated but that he will not appeal.
Johnson said he made his comments to some clerks. The names of the witnesses who filed the complaints were obscured in the sheriff's department report.
In a sworn statement, Johnson denied saying he supported slavery while noting that “slavery is a fact in the Bible.” Johnson also offered an opinion about the origin of dinosaurs.
“I believe that all dinosaurs were born of Satanic angel who has sex with woman and the animal kingdom that created ungodly reptilian creatures none of these were on the Ark,” he said in the sworn statement.
Johnson also said that he didn't believe in homosexuality and “that they should be put to death,” according to his statement. But he said his beliefs don't lead him to treat gays differently.
Capt. Bart Terrell, who supervises the intake area where Johnson was assigned, wrote that Johnson demonstrated a “pattern of conduct that is verbally inflammatory in nature and is detrimental to keeping a good working environment.”
Johnson was suspended for three days and given 90 days of probation in 2000 for using a derogatory word about minorities while talking to several inmates he was searching, records show.


It's not true! Jesus Loved Dinosaurs!

from the twisted mind of Julie Jackson

Dog Paddle for Jesus

Aryans, Mars and the End of Days

Every so often, the sun emits a massive solar flare which pretty thoroughly fries Earth and messes with it's magnetic fields. The super-advanced race which lived here millennia ago saw it coming and managed to evacuate to Mars (Aries, hence Aryans). There they waited for some centuries until the Earth was habitable again. Their underground Mars bunkers nearly out of resources, they limped back to Earth only to find that monkeys had come down from the trees and started using primitive tools and were walking upright. The Aryans, accustomed to their dark underground bunkers, could no longer stand the harsh light of day, and so they lived underground on Earth, where they have secretly directed the affairs of humans to this day. Also, white people are not Aryans, but the bastard offspring of Aryans and humans. With another solar apocalypse on it's way, the Aryans are once again getting ready to jump ship and head back to Mars. They are slightly concerned, however, that the human elites who have served as their middle management have been back-engineering their technology and might try to follow them this time.

Find out more here:

Aryans, Mars and the End of Days

Foul Rotten Demons

Sorry for the lack of new posts. Please continue to view Brother Mack videos until I return mid April.

Brother Mack is ON FIRE for the Lord!

And get Mack's healing Prayer Glove here! Wow!

...the disembodied head of preacher Robert Tilton

For this trip to the Island of Forgotten Anime, we're going to showcase some religious-themed anime made by Hikyou-Kisei Studios, which were usually international co-productions with various religious institutions around the world.

Bobu Bobu Bobu Hai Hai Hai which... well, I can't quite translate into anything coherent, but it features the adventures of two children, Cash and Penny, who travel around the world accompanied by the disembodied head of preacher Robert Tilton and learn about the importance of giving money (to Robert Tilton) so they can make better use of their prayers to God, or something. I don't get it either.

Here - see if you can tell me what this is all about: The Continent of Lost Anime

Haiti: A church group helping children...?

or HELPING THEMSELVES TO CHILDREN?

Ten of the twelve American missionaries arrested on January 29th on child kidnapping charges in the wake of the earthquake in Haiti were released this week without needing to post bail. Two, including the group's leader, Laura Silsby, remain in Haitian custody.

Questions remain. Something just doesn't smell right.

First of all, they lied to authorities, initially claiming the kids were orphans, when, in fact, the majority of them were not. Then, the "orphanage" in the Dominican Republic where the group was allegedly taking the children turned out to not actually exist. The group had none of the required documentation to take the kids out of the country.

OK, maybe these were actually heroic, sincere Christians following a God-mandated directive to "save the children."

But let's take a closer look at group leader Laura Silsby.

From the New York Times:

• Silsby defaulted last July on the mortgage on a house in an unfinished subdivision in Meridian, a suburb of Boise.

• her business, Personal Shopper, which provides shopping services for Internet customers, have faced multiple legal claims. According to state records and officials, Personal Shopper has been named 14 times in complaints from employees over unpaid wages.

She clearly has serious financial problems.

In completely unrelated news, child trafficking can be a very lucrative business enterprise.

And this:

Who exactly is Jorge Puello, the legal advisor to the Americans? Is he connected with trafficking Central and South American children for purposes of prostitution, or is it all a case of mistaken identity? New York Times story here, and excellent blog commentary here. Still more here.

I dunno. Questions...

thanks to Dave McGowan for getting me thinking...

Some Good Benny Hinn Quotes

"Adam was a super-being when God created him. ...The Scriptures declare clearly that he had dominion over the fowls of the air...which means he used to fly. ...Adam not only flew, he flew to space. He was - with one thought he would be on the moon" (Praise the Lord, TBN, 26th December 1991).

"You say, 'Benny, am I a little God?' You're a son of God, aren't you?...What else are you? Quit your nonsense!...If you say, 'I am,' you're saying you're part of Him, right? Is He God? Are you His offspring? Are you His children? You can't be human! You can't! You can't!" (Our Position in Christ #2, 1990, audiotape, sd 2)

"When you were born again the Word was made flesh in you. And you became flesh of His flesh and bone of His bone. Don't tell me you have Jesus. You are everything He was and everything He is and ever shall be... Don't say, 'I have.' Say, 'I am, I am, I am, I am, I am'" (ibid.)

"When you say, 'I am a Christian,' you are saying, 'I am mashiach,' in the Hebrew. I am a little messiah walking on earth, in other words. That is a shocking revelation. ...May I say it like this? You are a little god on earth running around" (Praise-a-Thon, TBN, 6th November '90)

"In my case, I know I have lost complete desire for anything to do with the world. My worldly desires are gone....I no longer have any rebellion in me." (The Anointing, p177-8.)

"SO, I'M BENNY JEHOVAH!" (Spiritual warfare seminar, May 2 1990).

"Say after me: 'Within me is a God-Man.' Say it again. 'Within me is a God-Man.' [Congregation repeats.] Now, let's say even better than that. Let's say, 'I AM A GOD-MAN.' …This spirit man within me is a God-Man. …Say 'I'm born-of-heaven-God-Man. I'm a God-Man. I'm a sample of Jesus. I'm a super being'" (Praise the Lord, TBN, Dec 6 1990).

"God came to earth and touched a piece of dust and turned it into a God. …Are you a child of God? Then you're divine! Are you a child of God? Then you're not human!" (TBN, Dec 1, 1990).

"When I stand in Christ - I am one with Him; united to Him; one spirit with Him. I am not, hear me, I AM NOT PART OF HIM, I AM HIM! THE WORD HAS BECOME FLESH IN ME!. …When my hand touches someone, it's the hand of Jesus touching somebody" (Our Position in Christ).

"I [Jesus] loved you enough to become one of ya! And I love you enough to make you one of me!" (TBN, Dec 1 '90).

"God told Abram He could touch this earth till a man gave it back to Him" (World Charismatic Conference, 7th August 1992); "Never, ever, ever go the Lord and say, 'If it be thy will....' Don't allow such faith-destroying words to be spoken from your mouth" (Rise and Be Healed!, 1991, p47-48).

"Jesus was born again [in hell]" (Our Position in Christ #1, 1991, audio-tape).

"The Holy Spirit says, 'God's original plan is that the woman was to bring forth children out of her side" (Our Position in Christ #5,1990, audiotape, side 2)

"Jesus knew the only way He would stop Satan is by becoming one in nature with him" (Benny Hinn, TBN, 15th December 1990).

"Before He died, I should say, on that cross, something happened to Him which began the wheels of the New Creation moving that was this: He died spiritually! …Jesus Christ understood that spiritual death is union with the satanic nature. …What is spiritual death? Separation from God" (New Creation in Christ sermon, late 1988).

The Trinity- 3 or 9?
"Each one of them is a triune being by Himself...there's nine of them" (Benny Hinn, TBN, 3rd October 1990).

lots more weird Benny shit here

Edward Gein - product of the Jezebel Spirit

Nobody tells a story better'n Brother Mack:

"Well, what do you suppose this young man did? He went to openin' graves... he went to violatin' corpses. He went to makin' things out of them.

He made him a suit of tits. He made him a wig of hair. He made leggins and walk around at night and howl like a monkey in the Wisconsin moonlight...

Benny Hinn's wife files for divorce!

ORANGE, Calif. (AP) — The wife of televangelist Benny Hinn has filed for divorce from the high-profile pastor, whose reputation as an advocate of prosperity gospel has attracted millions of followers and criticism from lawmakers and watchdog groups over his lavish lifestyle.

Suzanne Hinn filed the papers in Orange County Superior Court on Feb. 1, citing irreconcilable differences, after more than 30 years of marriage. The papers note the two separated on Jan. 26 and that Hinn has been living in Dana Point, a wealthy coastal community in southern Orange County.

"Pastor Benny Hinn and his immediate family were shocked and saddened to learn of this news without any previous notice," Benny Hinn Ministries said Thursday in a statement. "Although Pastor Hinn has faithfully endeavored to bring healing to their relationship, those efforts failed and were met with the petition for divorce that was filed without notice."

Full story from LA Times here

Snake Oil readers are probably familiar with Suzanne Hinn's scatological preoccupations, most famously her "holy ghost enema" routine, to wit:

Now we know she's CRAZY, but is she crazy enough to go public with even a fraction of the dirt that is shoved in the Hinn closet, a very large closet which is literally bursting at the seams? For people who mess with Benny have a habit of dropping dead, as in the case of Christian singing abomination Carman's brother, Mario C. Licciardello, who mysteriously keeled over the day before he was to be deposed in a scandalous lawsuit:

There's a darker side to Hinn and his organization. In 1998 two members of his inner circle died of heroin overdoses. In 1999, after one of his many vows of reform, he fired several board members and hired an ex-cop named Mario C. Licciardello to do an internal investigation of his ministry. Licciardello was the brother-in-law of Carman, the popular Christian singer, so many think Hinn considered him "safe." But Licciardello did such a good job – taking hundreds of depositions and getting to the bottom of the heroin use – that Hinn then sued him. While Licciardello was still his head of security, the ministry filed a lawsuit demanding that all his files be turned over and sealed, because their public release could result in the end of the ministry. One day before Hinn was supposed to give his deposition in this case, Licciardello had a mysterious heart attack and died. The Hinn organization made an out-of-court settlement with Licciardello's widow, which included sealing the court papers.

Above blurb is from here.

Whew! Let's hope this story has some legs! Stay tuned to Snake Oil...

Happy Valentine's Day 2010!

Today is the Day the Lord Hath Made: Brother Mack Stevens

Brother Mack Dot Com

AMAZING! Confessions of former Tilton employee

"Even now, many years later it is difficult for me to write these words, to acknowledge the cesspool of darkness that was my heart."

By 1989 things had pretty much fallen apart for me in my job. The company that I worked for had gone broke. I had tried several things on my own. Nothing seemed to work out. I decided that God was closing these doors because He wanted me back in ministry full time. I went back to the ministry center, this time as a full time employee.

The pay was minimal. In fact it really wasn’t enough but my wife still had a good job and we decided that if I was doing this unto the Lord, He would provide. I spent the next 6 years working for Robert Tilton ministries.

I started again as a regular prayer minister but after a while I was promoted to be a special assistant to Bob. My job was to speak on Bob’s behalf to partners and others who called and insisted on speaking directly to him.

The way it worked was like this; If you were a personal friend of Tilton’s or if you were another big time preacher you could get through to Bob’s personal secretary and ultimately to Bob himself. If you were just a regular Joe Schmoe partner (you know, the ones who were actually funding Tilton’s lavish lifestyle with their vows of faith) well Bob didn’t have time for those people. Those calls were routed to me. Also some of the thousands of letters the ministry received every day were given to me to call back.

much more here:

ApostasyWatch

Singin' Glory Hallelujah

Another one from the vaults:

The Robert Tilton Fan Club disrupts the protest of a group of Word of Faithers outside District Court in Dallas when Bob was being sued to turn over church records as part of some civil action. While the RTFC agrees with the church's right to privacy, we wanted to take the opportunity during this public gathering to ask some questions of our own and to express our appreciation of Bob in our own way. Sister Wendy joins the protest and gets her sign torn in half and then is cursed in "tongues" by some church members. As an added bonus, the whole episode makes the 6 o' clock news that night. ( Behind the scenes footage starts at 2:19)

The Network of Stolen Consciousness

by Beth Goobie

I am a survivor of intelligence cults that operate across Canada and are connected internationally. In 1959, I was born into an intergenerational
CIA-connected cult that continues to operate in central Ontario. I was first subjected to calculated torture sessions in the womb, and have been able to integrate fetal selves as an adult. I was an experienced dissociater at birth, an accomplished prostitute before kindergarten, and was being circulated on an elite international circuit by grade school. My programming involved fragmentation into alters who were trained as sex agents, couriers, computers, and cult alters (priestess, seeker, caller, whore, slave, trainer, etc.) Some of my alters were trained to handle weapons. The stories of Kathleen Sullivan, Brice Taylor, Cisco Wheeler, and Claudia Mullen, as well as Cathy O'Brien's TranceFormation of America describe much that is familiar to me, including near-death centers and 'hunting.' I would like to thank each of these women for speaking out. I deeply admire your courage. Keep going.

My perspective differs somewhat from the women mentioned above in that I have experienced a great deal, both personally and through recovered memory, of the metaphysical. I do not believe occult ceremonies are based solely on superstition and programming. It is my understanding that both cults and the intelligence network are developing the technology to exploit the metaphysical realities that are a daily part of all our lives, and that they intend to use these metaphysical realities to fragment and radically realign the consciousness of the average citizen for purposes of 'mind control' and to 'feed' off the energy of each individual life. I would like to discuss this as a complex process that aligns the brain to specific frequencies, then uses calculated trauma and dissociation to force interaction with the metaphysical. This interaction is then programmed for specific purposes by the intelligence community.

First, however, I think it important to note the basic motivation that drives mystery cults to perpetrate their heinous illegal activities: the desire to live forever. In search of immortality, cults have always explored metaphysical gateways to alternate dimensions that can be opened through traumatic dissociation. These out-of-body experiences teach cult members to exist as frequencies; conscious knowing energy that has been dissociated from the body during trauma. One can leave the body at many different frequencies, and each frequency opens up a different dimension of reality or 'mystery,' as well as interaction with the entities which inhabit these dimensions.

Members of mystery cults have also learned to exploit the human energy of others as 'feed,' extending their own longevity within the body. They have learned to transmit more and more of their consciousness into alternate dimensions (some are called Heaven, Hell, the Mysteries, etc.), where their 'spirits' will live after their bodies die, so that they are 'storing up their treasures' not on earth, but in alternate 'spiritual' realities. These dissociated 'spirits' are composed of energy and continue to exist only as long as they are 'fed' through the kill energy of human sacrifice. If not, they fade as all energy fades, because human beings are not meant to live forever.

more: Paranoia Magazine. Fall 2000 Issue #24

Priest Uses Fingerprint Reader to Monitor Mass Attendance

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish priest has installed an electronic reader in his church for schoolchildren to leave their fingerprints in order to monitor their attendance at mass, the Gazeta Wyborcza daily said on Friday.

The pupils will mark their fingerprints every time they go to church over three years and if they attend 200 masses they will be freed from the obligation of having to pass an exam prior to their confirmation, the paper said.

The pupils in the southern town of Gryfow Slaski told the daily they liked the idea and also the priest, Grzegorz Sowa, who invented it.

"This is comfortable. We don't have to stand in a line to get the priest's signature (confirming our presence at the mass) in our confirmation notebooks," said one pupil, who gave her name as Karolina.

Poland is perhaps the most devoutly Roman Catholic country in Europe today and churches are regularly packed on Sundays.

via

Voodoo 'supreme master': Believers are being discriminated against by Christians in Haiti

Haiti's "supreme master" of voodoo claims his fellow believers are not getting their share of relief aid in the ailing Caribbean nation.

"Evangelicals are in control and they take everything for themselves," Max Beauvoir told London's Telegraph on Monday.

The 75-year-old biochemist believes Christians in Haiti are taking food and supplies, and not allowing them to reach needy people outside Port-au-Prince.

"They take everything they get to their own people," he said, "and that's a shame."

Beauvoir's remarks come on the heels of supplies arriving in Mariani, a town outside Port-au-Prince, where hundreds of voodoo followers reside.

"It is the first delivery and it took a couple of weeks’ fight to get that for the voodoo people," he said.

Haiti's voodoo priests recently objected to mass burials for the thousands who died during the earthquake.

"The conditions in which bodies are being buried are not respecting the dignity of these people," Beauvoir said last week. "It is not in our culture to bury people in such a fashion."

More than half of Haiti's 9 million people are believed to practice voodoo. Some 80 percent are also Catholic.

sent in by Brother T Tex

via