Saturday, April 24, 2010

Holy Smoke

When Toby Elles fell asleep while cooking a late-night snack, it really was a case of divine intervention that saved his bacon.
The 22-year-old was 'miraculously' woken after an hour as his lounge filled with smoke – and quickly had the revelation that he had left a frying pan on a hob.
While saying his prayers, the bank worker scraped the remains of crispy bacon rashers from the pan, but could not believe the vision that appeared before him - Jesus Christ staring back at him.

full story here

(another miracle report from Brother Ben)

I believe that all dinosaurs were born of Satanic angel

from the ever vigilant Brother Ben:

Dallas County jail guard fired over anti-gay remarks

DALLAS (where else?) — A Dallas County jail guard recently fired after allegedly making anti-gay remarks and commenting about religion has said his free speech rights have been violated but he will not seek to regain his job.
A sheriff's department review concluded Stephen Johnson, 59, persisted in volunteering his religious opinions and speaking out against homosexuality.
Johnson, after nearly 17 years with the department, was fired Jan. 20 for conduct unbecoming an officer and for lying to internal affairs, the Dallas Morning News reported Tuesday.
Johnson in October interrupted a private conversation among jail staff and “interjected his own opinions,” telling them all gays should be annihilated, according to a sheriff's report.
“They made it out to be that I was a bigot. I was fired ‘cause I hurt someone else's feelings,” Johnson said Monday. He said that his free speech rights were violated but that he will not appeal.
Johnson said he made his comments to some clerks. The names of the witnesses who filed the complaints were obscured in the sheriff's department report.
In a sworn statement, Johnson denied saying he supported slavery while noting that “slavery is a fact in the Bible.” Johnson also offered an opinion about the origin of dinosaurs.
“I believe that all dinosaurs were born of Satanic angel who has sex with woman and the animal kingdom that created ungodly reptilian creatures none of these were on the Ark,” he said in the sworn statement.
Johnson also said that he didn't believe in homosexuality and “that they should be put to death,” according to his statement. But he said his beliefs don't lead him to treat gays differently.
Capt. Bart Terrell, who supervises the intake area where Johnson was assigned, wrote that Johnson demonstrated a “pattern of conduct that is verbally inflammatory in nature and is detrimental to keeping a good working environment.”
Johnson was suspended for three days and given 90 days of probation in 2000 for using a derogatory word about minorities while talking to several inmates he was searching, records show.

It's not true! Jesus Loved Dinosaurs!

from the twisted mind of Julie Jackson

Dog Paddle for Jesus

Aryans, Mars and the End of Days

Every so often, the sun emits a massive solar flare which pretty thoroughly fries Earth and messes with it's magnetic fields. The super-advanced race which lived here millennia ago saw it coming and managed to evacuate to Mars (Aries, hence Aryans). There they waited for some centuries until the Earth was habitable again. Their underground Mars bunkers nearly out of resources, they limped back to Earth only to find that monkeys had come down from the trees and started using primitive tools and were walking upright. The Aryans, accustomed to their dark underground bunkers, could no longer stand the harsh light of day, and so they lived underground on Earth, where they have secretly directed the affairs of humans to this day. Also, white people are not Aryans, but the bastard offspring of Aryans and humans. With another solar apocalypse on it's way, the Aryans are once again getting ready to jump ship and head back to Mars. They are slightly concerned, however, that the human elites who have served as their middle management have been back-engineering their technology and might try to follow them this time.

Find out more here:

Aryans, Mars and the End of Days