Sunday, December 27, 2009

Friday, December 25, 2009

Jesus is a friend of mine

John Hagee's Ideal woman

Reverend Bruce Gets the Last Laugh

The psychedelic secrets of Santa Claus

Then of course there are the contentions that Santa is a shaman, inspired by ancestral memories of Amanita Muscaria use...


All I Want For Christmas...

Aborted Fetus Found in Gift Box Under Christmas Tree

SAN JUAN, Texas -- A south Texas couple put an aborted 7-month-old fetus in a gift box under a Christmas tree after they were unable to flush the remains down a toilet, authorities alleged Monday.

Ruby Lee Medina, 31, and Javier Gonzalez, 37, of Mission, have been charged with abuse of a corpse and tampering with evidence.

Bond was set Monday at $20,000 each.

San Juan Police Chief Juan Gonzalez said police found the fetus inside the woman's trailer home Thursday after getting an anonymous tip.

Autopsy results are pending, but Gonzalez said police believe the woman used pills to induce an abortion Thursday, then called an ambulance after she began bleeding and told doctors she didn't know where the fetus was.

The abortion drug, mifepristone, was made to be used at approximately seven weeks into pregnancy to kill an unborn child, but the second part of the two-drug process, misoprostol, can be used to cause contractions.

It is an anti-ulcer drug that is not meant for pregnancy or abortion purposes.

Gonzalez said Medina called for an ambulance after she began bleeding and told paramedics she did not know the location of the unborn child.

He indicated the couple attempted to flush the body of the baby down the toilet but were unable to do so.

The couple said they eventually had planned to bury the baby's body in their backyard but police found them out first.

They voluntarily surrendered to officials.

"Apparently they cleaned up the fetus and they placed it inside a gift box under the Christmas tree," the police chief said.

sent in by Brother Ben

oh, and you can get your fetus cookie cutter here!

Know Thy Enemy

Rep. Michele Bachmann and Lou Engle of The Call participate in the Family Research Council's anti-healthcare reform "prayercast."

via <------ lots of good stuff there

thanks to Brother T Tex

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Teabagger Worried His Prayers Made God Kill Sen. Inhofe

A panicked teabagger called up C-SPAN in tears today, worried that he accidentally killed Republican Sen. Jim Inhofe by praying for Democratic Sen. Robert Byrd to die.


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Condemned Man's Prayer wall clock

just in time to be too late for Christmas. Time is running out in more ways than one.

"Dear God, this is my last prayer on earth..."

first offering from the Snake Oil Cafe Press Shoppe

(Here's a tip about Cafe Press: If you sign up for an account and don't mind getting their spam, they do offer free postage several times a year. Otherwise it's a pretty harsh toke.)

Here is the text of the prayer:

Baboons Observed Praying

Read about it here

Thanks to Sister Lori for the tip.

Meet the Republican Party's new spiritual guru, Lou Engle

"My son Jesse, he's nineteen years old. God has given him dreams, to go to San Francisco to launch a house of prayer, one block from the Castro District - where the homosexuals boast the dominion of darkness. He's going there with weeping in his heart. With the dream that prayer is stronger than the dominion of that spirit.

...He said to me, "dad," he said, "as long as I'm there I don't think the Lord will judge San Francisco." [boos, angry murmur from Engle's audience]...

He's nineteen years old. He's starting to cast out homosexual spirits out of our new converts. It's scary*. The whole thing's scary. But fathers are to send their sons into the darkest places."

Good rundown here

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Our 100th Post Celebration: Screaming Boy

Upstart TV preachers flock to Dallas like young starlets drawn to Hollywood. So began the story of Jonathan Bell who arrived in Dallas from Kingston, Ontario in early 1992 with a vision from God to start a television ministry.

Accompanying Jonathan were Carrie Hart, a 71-year-old invalid, and her 35-year-old retarded son. With the $1400 per month that the Harts received in government checks, the three got set up in a one bedroom apartment in the predominately gay Oak Lawn section of Dallas, and Jonathan Bell Ministries was on its way.

That first Texas summer, however, took its toll on the trio of transplanted Canadians. Their living arrangement had deteriorated to the point that on the night of July 28th, police were called to the scene of a domestic disturbance at the ministry apartment, whereupon Jonathan was hauled in on aggravated assault of an invalid.

The police incident report reveals a sorry state of affairs: Jonathan typically sent the Harts out early each morning on ministry errands, and they were expected back promptly at 9 PM. Being late, or not following instructions exactly resulted in a beating. Neighbors told police that they had seen the Harts with bruises and black eyes. The Harts were given just a few dollars a month, and Jonathan got the only bed while they slept on the floor with no bedding.
In what may have been a water baptism gone horribly awry, Harry Hart, the son, claimed that earlier in the summer Jonathan had tried to drown him at an area lake by holding him underwater by his hair.

Within a few days of Jonathan's arrest, the Harts returned to Canada, and all charges were dropped.

This sordid little tale would not be worth telling if shortly thereafter Jonathan had not gone on to produce two of the most psychotic, disturbing religious programs ever made.

Flanked by a potted plant, Screaming Boy was born in the studios of Dallas Cable Access. Religious fury in a rented tux. The petulant, porcine pentecostal launched into a hellfire and brimstone sermon at max volume which didn't subside for a solid hour.

But much more than the message itself was the delivery, complete with nervous tics, bulging veins, and a childish, bullying demeanor. An implicit "n'yah-n'yah n'yah n'yah-n'yah" was almost audible at the end of every sentence. His main message concerned those smug, self-satisfied, so-called Christians in "their fancy churches" who "weren't gonna make it in."

"I've been looking for a church here in Dallas where they don't just preach the Word on Sunday and live like the DEVIL the rest of the week! Last Friday I went to a singles get together at the Church of Christ, and they were going to show Terminator people who weren't even saved! I mean, COME ON!" [note that the singles group was going to show Terminator 2. I guess Jonathan took care of THAT!] "If you don't realize you're a filthy, rotten sinner, you're going to hell, Buck-o."

So don't you blame Screaming Boy when, on Judgement Day, you're on the wrong side of the gate. And, hey, you might be in a car crash tonight. You'll see. Jonathan's making it in, and you're not. N'yah-n'yah n'yah n'yah-n'yah.


Speweth Jonathan: "I study the Bible five to eight hours a day!! And because I have faith as a child, Jesus Christ shows me visions all the time. He talks with me all the time, whether YOU believe it or not!" [So THERE!]

"Two years ago God gave me a vision where I saw young people, men and women - no children there - no clothes on...They had their hands up in the air and they were screaming and yelling in Hell!"

Also perversely compelling were the little tidbits he threw in about his own life. Abandoned by his mother at age eleven, Jonathan was put in a foster home with a man who sexually abused him. He suffered from depression until age twenty-seven, but managed to build a successful career as a hairdresser making, he claimed, $100,000 a year. He led a singles group at a church in Kingston, Ontario, but then God told him to go to Dallas and start his own ministry, and to build a Christian Boy's Ranch for abused youngsters.

Hmmmmmm... Good thing that in that vision of Hell that God gave Jonathan, none of the naked people were under eighteen.

My writing skills at conveying the viewing experience of watching Screaming Boy are woefully inadequate. If I said he was a cross between Porky Pig and Sam Kinison, would that help? If I noted that for no reason little subtitles would appear on the screen with slogans like "Satan Wants Your Mind and Soul," would you start to understand how mind-numbingly weird these shows were? Or that, in the finest cable access tradition, Jonathan spent half the time looking into the wrong camera?

Sadly, after producing just two one hour programs on Dallas Cable Access, Jonathan Bell vanished. Calls to Dallas Cable Access yeilded no information. Letters sent to his Dallas PO Box went unanswered.

While reviewing the two Screaming Boy episodes in preparation of this story, I decided to call the church in Kingston where Jonathan said he had led the singles group.

"We are in no way associated with Jonathan Bell. If you're writing something about him, please don't mention the name of this church. We don't know any more than what's been in the papers."


The papers?? Surely they weren't concerned about a little blurb in the Dallas paper almost three years ago about the assault on the Harts..

With much excitement and a healthy dose of foreboding, I dialed the number for the Kingston Whig-Standard. The worst was confirmed.

"A Kingston hairstylist and former host of a self-help cable TV show, who is facing a number of sexual charges involving children, will remain in jail until a bail hearing Monday.

"Jonathan Bell, the 35-year-old owner of the Jonathan Bell Salon at 477 Macdonnell St., appeared briefly at a bail hearing yesterday in provincial court on Wellington Street.
"He faces 11 sexual molestation charges, some of them stretching back almost two decades...

"Besides running his own salon, Bell was known to many people in the Kingston area through his short-lived Cablenet TV program, called Success In Life.

"Rob Heeney, program manager at Kingston Cablenet, said the show ran monthly from September 1993 to December 1993. 'It was a self-help show,' said Heeney. Part of the show involved Bell giving people make-overs."

--excerpted from The Kingston Whig-Standard, November 4, 1994.

Subsequent articles revealed that Jonathan pleaded not guilty, was denied bail, and that still more charges were filed.

It is interesting and somewhat telling that upon his return to Canada he choose to name his new television program so similarly to Robert Tilton's "Success N Life," even though he expressed nothing but sneering contempt for "so-called preachers here in Dallas who live in their big, fancy houses."

It occurs to me now that what was played out on Dallas Cable Access was more than a tormented individual ranting and raving about Jesus. What we had witnessed was no less than Jonathan Bell in an all out battle with his personal demons, the title match for his very soul.

Chalk this one up for the Devil.

(The above originally appeared in the print version of Snake Oil # 4, Fall 1995)

Brother T Tex helps us get in the Christmas Spirit!

Check out all the crazy Christmas images at T Tex's Hexes

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Santa Claus versus The Devil

I first saw K. Gordon Murray's Santa Claus at the 25th Street Theatre in Waco, TX in 1966. It's impossible to overstate the profound effect this film had on my life. Of course, it was the English dubbed version I saw, but nowadays I'm partial to the original spanish. Here is the classic scene where the Devil tempts Lupe to steal the doll:

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Name It and Claim It Christians Contributed to the Financial Crash

I love it! An article in the new Atlantic makes the case that Prosperity Gospel is a contributing factor in today's economic ills. Right on! Here's the summary:

America’s mainstream religious denominations used to teach the faithful that they would be rewarded in the afterlife. But over the past generation, a different strain of Christian faith has proliferated—one that promises to make believers rich in the here and now. Known as the prosperity gospel, and claiming tens of millions of adherents, it fosters risk-taking and intense material optimism. It pumped air into the housing bubble. And one year into the worst downturn since the Depression, it’s still going strong.

Dallas is so overrun by these morons. It's nice to see them called out. Read the full article HERE

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Called Home

Oral Roberts has exited the tent

The Rebel Jesus

Temple of Schlock has a nice tribute to Dallas' own Larry "Zontar" Buchanan's 1973 insane "The Rebel Jesus"
This groundbreaking film uncovered lots of important stuff they left out of the Bible!

Family Circus

Raising the Dead with Todd Bentley

from the Lakeland, Florida revival

this is kinda old news, but if you want to take a trip down the Todd Bentley / Joel's Army rabbit hole, here are a couple of good places to jump off:

'Arming' for Armageddon

Joel's Army and The Call

UPDATE: if you're so inclined, a good round up on the Roots of Dominionism

Sunday, December 13, 2009

A message from Scientology: There's an Org in Your Neighborhood!

(includes Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson)


Dinner with the Abortionists


Robert Tilton Flashback

While we're waiting for a new post, why not go back through the archives and catch up on all the Robert Tilton related posts from days gone by?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Jesus Junk!

Somebody has taken it upon themselves to keep track of the tacky Christian-themed apparel, doodads, and knickknacks that are proliferating out there. Pictures are posted on this blog: The Museum of Idolatry. Sometimes they link to the seller, other times, sadly, not. But it's oh so worth a click!

Thank you, Brother Russell for sharing!

Passing the collection plate

If you are doing any Christmas shopping at Amazon, please consider going to Amazon via the Snake Oil Amazon page. <----Click that link, then click on "powered by Amazon" and it'll take you to the main Amazon page. If you initiate your Amazon session this way, I get a small piece of the action. So go to Amazon now and buy a big TV or something!

Old Time Religion

This is an absolutely incredible site - religious ephemera from the collection of Jim Linderman. Your faith will be stirred up! Once again we are indebted to Brother Tex Edwards. Click here!

Especially wonderful is the post on Rev. Charles Jessup

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Derelict HOLY LAND USA roadside attraction from the 1950s

In the early 1950s John Baptist Greco, a staunch Roman Catholic, had a vision of a roadside theme park devoted to God. By the end of the decade, he had created exactly that: a theme park built to replicate a miniature Bethlehem. By the 1960s, the park was visited by some 50,000 people a year. One could come and see a recreation of the Garden of Eden, biblical-themed dioramas and various tributes to the life and work of Jesus Christ.

The park was perhaps best known for its Hollywood-style sign reading "Holy Land USA" and its 56-foot steel cross that can be seen for miles, especially when lit up at night. It is said that there is a town joke that citizens grow up thinking Jesus was electrocuted on the cross. In 1984, the park was closed for renovation. Greco had hopes of expanding the site to attract more visitors; however, this was never achieved as he died in 1986.

Responsibility for the park passed to a group of nuns. For a while, they tried to keep the park clean and neat looking but never opened to the public. Regardless of their efforts, the park became seedy and vandalised since Greco's death. To this day, the nuns still own the property, however, it is the local teenagers and foragers who have made their mark. Statues have been beheaded, dioramas destroyed, and tunnels blocked. Occasionally tourists still stop to look, and even explore, but they make sure they are gone before dark.


this article was also sent in by Brother Ben, who is obviously on a spiritual roll this week


Brother Ben thought that this should be brought to your attention:

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Wanda Jackson

you may know Wanda for "Funnel of Love" or "Mean Mean Man." But I love Wanda most for

Soldiers of Christ

The Family.

No, not Charlie's Family. We're talking about the truly scary, secretive right wing political "fellowship" in Washington DC, subject of an excellent 2008 book by Jeff Sharlet called The Family.

Sharlet is back on the media circuit talking about the Family to NPR's Terry Gross, timely at present because of their involvement and influence in the current health care debate.

Brother T Tex alerted me to the above NPR piece which is well worth a listen.

And while we're on the subject of Jeff Sharlet, I'd like to point out a monumental article he wrote back in 2005 for Harper's called "Soldiers of Christ: Inside America's Most Powerful Megachurch" about Ted Haggard's New Life Church in Colorado Springs. Unfortunately it's not one of the articles Harpers offers for free, although the text can be found in somewhat random places elsewhere on the internet. The story of Pastor Ted's rise from pastor of a basement church to an advisor of President Bush is fascinating, and the social implications of the megachurch phenomenon are absolutely terrifying:

Which brings us back to "Order." Key to the growth of evangelicalism during the last twenty years has been a social structure of "cell groups" that allows churches to grow endlessly while maintaining orthodoxy in their ranks. New Life, for instance, has 1,300 cell groups, or "small groups," as Pastor Ted prefers to call them. Such a structure is not native to Colorado Springs; in fact, most evangelicals attribute it to Pastor Paul Cho, of South Korea, who has built a congregation of 750,000 using the cell-group structure. American megachurches that have adopted the cell model unaltered have had only partial success.

Pastor Ted's insight was in adapting this system for the affluence of the United States. South Korea, he notes, is on the "front lines" in the war against communism, "so they needed a strong chain-of-command system." But not so Americans. "Free-market globalization" has made us so free, he realized, that an American cell-group system could be mature enough to function just like a market. One of Pastor Ted's favorite books is Thomas Friedman's The Lexus and the Olive Tree, which is now required reading for the hundreds of pastors under Ted's spiritual authority across the country. From Friedman, Pastor Ted says he learned that everything, including spirituality, can be understood as a commodity. And unregulated trade, he concluded, was the key to achieving worldly freedom.
In devising New Life's small-group system, Pastor Ted says that he asked himself and his staff a simple question: Do you like your neighbors? And, for that matter, do you even know your neighbors? The answers he got - the Golden Rule to the contrary - were "Not really" and "No." Okay, said Pastor Ted, so why would you want to be in a small group with them? His point was that arbitrary small groups would make less sense than self-selected groups organized around common interests. Hence New Life members can choose among small groups dedicated to motorcycles, or rock climbing, or home-schooling, or protesting outside abortion clinics.

But Pastor Ted's true genius lies in his organizational hierarchy, which ensures ideological rigidity even as it allows for individual expression. Not just anyone can lead a small group, much less a section; a battery of personality and spiritual tests must be undergone first, as well as an official background check. Once chosen, group leaders meet regularly with their own leaders in the chain of command, and members are encouraged to jump the chain and speak to a higher level if they think their leader is straying into "false teachings" - moral relativism, ecumenism, or even "Satanism," in the form of New Age notions such as crystal healing.

Whether the system is common sense or heresy itself - the Body of Christ atomized - is beside the point; New Lifers have found it powerfully persuasive. Pastor Ted has instituted a semester system, so that no one needs to be locked into a group he or she doesn't like for too long. And since New Life's cell groups don't limit themselves to Bible study, they function as covert evangelizing engines. In return, what Pastor Ted has given his flock are lifestyle choices.

I'd like to point out that you don't have to be a foaming at the mouth atheist to oppose the megachurch phenomenon - probably the best way to fight them is to support smaller progressive churches.

Scientology for beginners

from the Sydney Morning Herald:

For decades the celebrity-recruiting group, granted legal status as a religion in Australia in 1983, has fought to preserve its secrets. These include a bizarre cosmology involving the galactic dictator Xenu dumping millions of corpses in volcanoes on Earth 75 million years ago and blowing them up with 17 hydrogen bombs

In this schema, the souls, or ”thetans”, of the dead were contaminated and in turn contaminated humans, who can be cleansed only by Scientology. The process involves vitamins, E-meters and large sums of money.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Donald "Pee Wee" Gaskins

'I have walked the same path as God, by taking lives and making others afraid, I became God's equal. Through killing others, I became my own master. Through my own power I come to my own redemption..'

this post inspired by The Barracudas' "Poor White Trash"

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Some Thrift Store Gospel for your Thursday

Swing That Gospel Axe!

submitted by Brother T Tex

Another Holiday Gift Idea

Hollow Flask Bible!

Get yours from Etsy

Holiday Gift Ideas!

someone's coined a bumper sticker slogan encouraging people to pray for Barack Obama. But here's the funny part: if you actually read the verse, it's really a secret Christian code for "Kill the President!'

“Let his days be few; and let another take his office. Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow."

via Gawker

(sadly it looks like Cafe Press has now pulled the item)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Bus 1170: One Man On a Mission From God

Too Weird for Words (so watch the documentary)

On a peaceful summer’s night in July 2008, along a stretch of the Trans Canada Highway in Manitoba, the unthinkable happened. What started as just another Prairie bus ride became a nightmare when the lives of two passengers intersected tragically and resulted in the murder of Tim McLean. In Bus 1170, Bob McKeown takes us inside what happened on Greyhound 1170 through the eyes of the surviving passengers and other witnesses.

A seemingly random decision, to take the Greyhound from B.C. to Winnipeg rather than a friend’s offer of a plane ticket, would cost twenty-two-year-old Tim McLean his life, would profoundly change the lives of dozens of others who saw his murder and shock anyone who has heard about it since. On Greyhound 1170, Vincent Li, a diagnosed schizophrenic on his own randomly chosen bus journey, sat beside McLean and then, obeying voices inside his head, repeatedly stabbed and then cannibalized McLean’s body.

Watch documentary here.

Of special interest to Snake Oil readers: victim Tim McLean was a Juggalo!

Big Big Things Coming Up

don't want to give too much away, but I have had an exclusive Word of Knowledge that big things are on the horizon in the world of Brother Mack and his mighty mighty ministry. Stay tuned to Snake Oil and you won't miss a thing!

And for your listening pleasure...

click ---> Glossolalia: Speaking In Tongues

brought to you by Brother T Tex. And I forgot to mention that the previous offering was from Ben, our dear Baylor Brother.

If your Faith is wavering...

If your faith is wavering...

click here.

Process Church of the Final Judgement - Reenactment

via Mutate

Christian Bootcamp Seeks to Arm Home-Schooled Youths for "Spiritual Warfare"

By Eleanor Bader, RH Reality Check
Posted on November 16, 2009

Rev. Rusty Lee Thomas, Assistant Director of Operation Save America, is worried. According to studies by the Barna Research Group, California pollsters specializing in tracking religious and spiritual attitudes, only nine percent of teenaged Christians believe in moral absolutes. What’s more, Barna reports that the vast majority of kids raised Christian will abandon all or part of their faith by the time they finish high school. "Assembly of God leaders estimate between 65 and 70 percent will depart, while the Southern Baptist Council on Family Life estimates roughly 88 percent will leave," Thomas writes.

To remedy this, Thomas' Elijah Ministries has started the Kingdom Leadership Institute, a weeklong ideological boot camp for home-schooled Christians between the ages of 14 and 21. His recently released book, The Kingdom Leadership Institute Manual, is a roadmap for their training and a fascinating -- if twisted -- look at the concerns of far right evangelicals, complete with a game plan for action.

There's no pussy-footing in Thomas' screed. For him the battle between God and Satan is at hand, pitting True Believers against Sinners. Common ground? Impossible since there are only two sides, one resulting in heavenly salvation and the other ending with the earth’s destruction.

"Life is not a playground," he rails. "It is a war zone -- a clash of ideas, philosophies, values, and worldviews. It demands leaders who do not shrink back in [sic] the day of battle." He calls it "spiritual warfare" and repeatedly summons images straight out of the Middle Ages, with gallant Knights protecting grateful maidens, and courtliness trumping gender equity.

Contemporary equals bad, he rants. "During Colonial times, children would be up at four in the morning to help with chores; spoke only when spoken to by an adult; and by the age of seven or eight, boys had chosen their craft or trade and were ready to become apprentices. What a contrast compared to the unruliness, laziness, and lack of direction that characterizes many in this generation." One can only wonder about the regimen imposed on the good reverend’s 13 children and two grandchildren.

As Thomas sees it, the crisis facing today’s young people is a direct result of American secularism-- you know, those pesky rules separating religion and government. In his telling, the lead culprit is the Supreme Court which has usurped God’s legal authority, outlawing prayer in schools, sanctioning abortion and gay rights, and allowing infidels -- AKA Muslims -- to live freely among us.

Remember Alabama Judge Roy Moore? So does Thomas, and he is still smarting from Moore’s 2003 comeuppance. Moore -- one of Thomas’ few heroes -- had posted the 10 Commandments in the Rotunda of the state Judicial Building, something most folks -- Christians and non -- saw as a violation of church/state separation. Not Moore. Given a choice between removing the Commandments or losing his job, he chose the latter which demonstrates, says Thomas, how far the Godly have fallen in the US of A.

Thomas’ solution for changing this and returning American youth to the Christian fold is straightforward, if absurd, and starts with home schooling. Women, he writes, should quit working for money and instead work on inculcating “Christian values”, including male supremacy, in the next generation. “A patriarch is a family ruler. He is the man in charge,” Thomas begins. “Biblical manhood demands men … defend and shield or cover women from injury, evil or oppression.” Not surprisingly, Thomas puts forward an essentialized view: Men are logical, women emotional and spiritually attuned. Feminist challenges to this monochromatic definition are anathema to nature, he charges. Worse, they challenge the male birthright to establish a “dynasty” at home.

Yep, you read right. A dynasty.

“Feminists charge that Christianity promotes a patriarchal religion, which oppresses women and steals their potential. Although it is true that Christianity is patriarchal, the function of true patriarchy is to protect, provide, and care for women and children. Biblical patriarchy is expressed as chivalry,” Thomas writes.

You can almost see Thomas squirming at the idea of women's equality or the varied gender expressions feminists have championed. And then there’s his obvious discomfort with power-wielding females. "A woman can manipulate, dominate and control a man to the point that his manhood is slowly eaten away like a cancer," he raves. Finally, there’s the ultimate rightwing putdown: "Too many women seek value by trying to become men, lead as men, and be aggressive as men."

For Thomas, the call is not only to criminalize abortion and homosexuality, return prayer to the schools, get women out of the workplace, and declare the U.S. a Christian nation, but also to impose Biblical rule on all who reside within our national borders. Furthermore, he's going for blood -- and I mean that literally. "Whether we like it or not, ours is a bloody religion," he explains. "Beginning with God slaying the animals to cover Adam and Eve after the fall…to the final sacrifice by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, one theme rings true. Without the shedding of blood, there is no remission of sins."

It's hard to know whether this is an oblique reference to murdering abortion providers or is a more literal reference to the war Thomas envisions between his parishioners and everyone else.

But either way, Thomas' fighting words are sure to unsettle at least some of his youthful charges, sending them squarely into the arms of 21st century secularism.

I say a hearty amen to that. Hallelujah.

Normal programming will resume shortly

Bobblehead Jesus

(you gotta click on the link to make BJ do his thing - I haven't figured out how to steal animated images)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Jesus and the Dinosaurs

Lastest on the Horrorcore Murders - McCroskey might have documented activities with a computer, cell phone or camera

    Details surface on murder weapons in Farmville slayings

    FARMVILLE—Two weapons—a ball-peen hammer and a wood-splitting maul—were used to bludgeon four people found dead inside a Longwood University professor’s home in September, a source close to the investigation confirmed yesterday.

    Also yesterday, Richard Samuel Alden McCroskey III, 20, of Castro Valley, Calif., was served with indictments on six counts of capital murder in the bludgeoning deaths of professor Debra S. Kelley, 53; her estranged husband, Mark Niederbrock, 50; their daughter, Emma Niederbrock, 16; and Melanie Wells, 18, Emma’s friend from Inwood, W.Va.

    All four were discovered dead Sept. 18 in Kelley’s Farmville home.

    McCroskey, who recorded violent rap music using the name “Syko Sam,“ also faces a charge of grand larceny that accuses him of stealing Mark Niederbrock’s car.

    A Prince Edward County grand jury returned the indictments Oct. 19, but they were sealed until yesterday.

    Investigators recovered several possible weapons from the home, including the ball-peen hammer and wood-splitting maul, according to the court papers unsealed yesterday. A maul is a tool with a long handle with a head like an ax on one side and a hammer on the other.

    All four victims were bludgeoned beyond recognition, the source said.

    Officials also removed from the Kelley home a meat cleaver and a red-stained knife, but authorities do not believe either of those weapon was used in the killings, the source said.

    Three of the four bodies were found in a downstairs bedroom, according to court documents. The other was found in a room upstairs. Authorities have not said which bodies were found in which room.

    Authorities believe one or more of the victims might have been attacked while sleeping, but they don’t know that for certain, the source said.

    The ball-peen hammer and the maul already were in the home and were not acquired for the purpose of committing the killings, the source said.

    McCroskey has not discussed the crimes with investigators.

    Authorities say they might never know on what day the three female victims died, although investigators say they believe Mark Niederbrock was killed after Kelley and the two teenagers. Charging documents filed earlier in the case say Niederbrock was killed Sept. 17, the day before the bodies were found.

    At least 98 items were recovered from Kelley’s home, including sketchbooks, electronic equipment, a pair of stained eyeglasses, and a note to Wells found on a kitchen table. The search warrant return did not indicate what the note said or who wrote it.

    McCroskey might have documented his activities while at Kelley’s home using a computer, cell phone or camera, according to an affidavit for a search warrant. Digital cameras might contain pictures of the crime scene, the affidavit states.
full story here
related coverage here
previously on Snake Oil

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween part 3

More Halloween treats!

Brother T Tex isn't doing candy this Halloween, he's giving out

Happy Halloween part 2

Brother Russell has this to drop in your goody bag:

sez Bro Russ: This is some sort of extended mix deal, probably not worth listening to the whole thing… but the prank call at the beginning is intense and the victim’s feckless reactions are hilarious.…

Happy Halloween

enjoy All Hallow's Eve with a re-post of our exclusive House of Judgement '96 footage

Friday, October 30, 2009

Another Thrift Store Gospel classic!

I will make this observation: Through the early seventies, Christian women's hair styles did seem to be influenced by the atomic mushroom cloud.

This album cover was originally posted here.

And another tip of the hat to T Tex, who always finds the good stuff.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

WARNING - demons sneak into bags of Halloween candy!

according to Kimberly Daniels on Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network website:

“[M]ost of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches,” Daniels wrote. “I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.”

full story here.

Thanks once again to Brother Ben for alerting us.

Lastest on the Horrorcore Murders - Sister says Sam is innocent

From a local bay area rave related board:

SarahThiZZle Sep 26 2009, 02:43 PM Post #128

Ok first of all. what the ****. Get your facts straight before you wanna try and put someone on blast. For one, my parents are not hells angels, I do NOT live ina ****in crack house or in san leandro for that matter. ****in says castro valley u dumb ****. I did NOT stop raving because people were insecure and decided to come online and bash someone they didnt know but didnt have the balls to say **** to my face. I can really give a **** what any of you think for that matter, I am just setting the record straight.

Yeah your definitely one to talk down upon people you two faced **** sideshow. Nice to someones face but then as soon as you can hide in ur dark ass stanky filthy room im sure u stay inand sit in front of a screen probably beating off to the fact that a girl actually accept your friend request on myspace...thats when you decide to talk ****. Yeah. way to go. Everyone give it up for this lazy fat ****.

I like how none of you actually have your own opinion. As soon as someone said they didnt like me, what did you do...jump on the ****in bandwagon. Can any of you think for yourselves? As a matter of fact, we did not give anyone consent to put our pictures up on the internet, my phone number, my house all over the news not blurring out my address or license plate number. Its the ****in media...they dont care about consent. So before you go and try and talk like you know whats goin on and giving out facts, why dont you at least try and get some true facts to add some truth to your story ok.

I am in no way using my brother being accused to try and get "famous" I am doing pretty ****ing good being in magazines and newspaper for my production company I run, for you to accuse me of such things is bull****. My brother is innocent, I want people to know who my brother is to stop and think..."hey is this guy really capable of killing 4 people by himself without one ****ing person hearing a scream?"

No, there is WAY more to this ****ed up situation then the media is gonna let out. There is no truth behind anything you have seen or read on the news. He was setup...i cant say anything but let me tell you. After all this is done, everyone is gonna feel real ****in stupid. You have no idea how much it hurts to have the cops ransack your house, trash everything, press everywhere with you not being able to go home because of it. The whole world having my number, calling me left and right to either say they are sorry or say they are gonna ****in slice my throat. My personal life has been put up on ****in display for the whole entire world to see. I hope that one of your loved ones does this **** and lets see how you ****in feel to come online and see your name being thrown around and dragged in the mud JUST for being related....

I have really cleaned up my life and was going somewhere and now I have to start all over cause everything has been taken away. You know, a lot of you were my friends. And now you sit here talking **** just cause you wanna waste some of your miserable life on here talking **** with all the rest of the losers, clicking refresh every 10 seconds praying that one of your "friends" is agreeing with you. You guys make me sick. I dont need anyones ****ing sympathy, and I can give a **** what you think. You arent going to put a damper on my day. So go ahead, sit on your ass day and try to come up with a witty comeback or comment so the internet message board geeks will think you are cool for 2 seconds. As long as it makes you feel better.

Thank you mark for being a true friend. You need to let me know what time you work next cause I pass your work at least 4 times a day. I could really use a mark burger

earlier posts here if you need to a refresher

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hell House LIVES!

Go here for all the details.

from their website:

Hell House was first opened in October of 1991 and is a creative alternative to the traditional haunted house. It is a dramatization of real life situations. Each year over 10,000 people walk through its doors with an ambiguous expectation. With Hell House now entering its 19th year, we attempt to keep that ambiguity going by offering new, fresh, in-your-face scenes and ideas. This year there are 7 scenes, with the walk-through taking an estimated 45 minutes (not including waiting in line). A “demon” or “death monitor” will guide you through the maze-like walk-through. Each scene will give you a look into the real life issues that we deal with everyday. Hell house is not meant for children under the age of 13. There are guns, blood, violence, intense scenes, and disturbing images.

we are indebted to Brother Ben for the info.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Dr. Gene Scott's widow, Melissa Scott's Unholy Past

Pastor Melissa Scott presides over a televangelist empire. Hard to believe that she was once a triple-X plaything known as Barbie Bridges. Gretchen Voss uncovers the true story behind Scott's divine reinvention.

Thanks to Brother Russell for sending this in!

Hell House director interview from 2002

George Ratliff talks about his Christian Haunted House documentary, Hell House, on This American Life from 2002, being made available to listen to and download currently. I am a huge fan of both the actual Hell House in Cedar Hill, Texas and of the documentary. Thanks to Brother Steve for spotting this!

If you've never seen the doc, I suggest you go immediately to the Snake Oil Amazon Store and pick it up while it's still available.

Southern Preachers On The Radio

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Mrs. Bob Tilton # 2

After Marte, but before Maria, there was Leigh Valentine.

As in Mrs. Bob Tilton # 2.

These days Leigh is selling anti-aging products. Here's a recent Leigh as "beauty expert" YouTube-mercial:

But readers of this blog are probably much more interested in Leigh's role in letting the world know about the "rats eating Bob's brain," as revealed in nasty divorce-related court documents.

Here's what Snake Oil reported at the time, Summer of '96:

"They want to say I'm a GOLD DIGGER," complained Leigh Valentine Tilton to The Dallas Morning News.

Now why would anybody say that?

In both interviews with the press and statements made in court documents, the second Mrs. Robert Tilton has taken the couple's vicious divorce battle into the public arena, dramatically playing the part of the wronged wife who has tried so hard, sniff, to be strong (dab eyes). While Bob has remained tight-lipped during the ordeal, Leigh has wasted no time in airing enough dirty laundry to give a fascinating, if one-sided, glimpse into the lifestyle of the one time Pope of Prosperity. Leigh's fight thus far has centered on staking a claim in the $1.6 million parsonage in the Dallas suburb of Addison. Bob has been in Florida, living aboard the Liberty Leigh, a 50 foot yacht docked in Ft. Lauderdale.

Shortly after filing for the divorce in March, Bob tried to kick Leigh, her son, and her mother out of the parsonage on Winnwood Road. Church representatives were sent in to box up and haul off household effects. Leigh, notified of the intrusion by her personal assistant, came rushing home to find the locks changed, the utilities cut off, and, according to her, many personal possessions missing. Especially upsetting was the bedroom wall safe being removed. Leigh was also furious that Bob had cashed an insurance check on her Jaguar and that her $100,000 annual salary from the church had been cut off. In an application for a protective order, Leigh made the following assertions in an affidavit filed in Dallas County on May 15, 1996:

"I regret having to make accusations; however, to protect myself and my son I find it necessary to tell the truth in this affidavit so that my family and I can be adequately protected. "Approximately Sunday the 18th day of February, 1996, we were in Florida. Bob began one of his drinking sprees, started yelling and screaming at me and telling me how worthless I was and I tried to get away from him. He grabbed me by arms and wrist and cut my leg while dragging me up the stairs. He was verbally abusive and he cursed over and over again in front of my three year old son.

"He told me on this occasion and a couple other occasions, 'You don't understand, I am the Pope! That means I am the boss, haven't you learned that yet? Everyone does what I tell them to do and you had better obey me. If you do not obey me and be submissive with me I am going to make sure you loose everything, everything!'

"It was during the last three months together that Bob was having trouble sleeping and he woke up with several weird dreams and even told me that he was afraid he was not thinking straight. He indicated that he thought he was going crazy and that he didn't think that he was going to 'make it.' When he was in this type of state it was usually after he had been on a drinking spree and he got mad at me during these times because I wouldn't buy his liquor for him and I would not drink with him. Several of these times he woke up in the middle of the night saying that he thought rats were eating his brains and other wild dreams such as that.

"He also indicated that he would have other people kill the people that have messed with him."

It is certainly not the intention of anyone associated with Snake Oil to "mess with" Bob. We had, in fact, hoped that his union with Leigh would be the impetus needed to get his television ministry up and going again. It seems, however, that Leigh was the last thing Bob needed. Leigh, a former Miss Missouri USA and an evangelist in her own right, first met Bob at a religious conference in Germany, and the two supposedly began dating in the fall of 1993. They were secretly married in the Dominican Republic in February 1994 although their marriage was not made public until months later, at which time Bob wrote a letter to his friends and supporters claiming that Leigh had saved his life. This was also the time that Bob, under Leigh's influence, radically altered his preaching style, dropping the Pay As You Pray Prosperity message and embracing a Shout The Devil Out Of You Life form of worship. The double whammy of switching theologies and divorcing Marte, his first wife and co-founder of the church, seriously diminished the attendance at Bob's Word Of Faith Family Church in Dallas. Besieged by religious-fraud lawsuits and unfriendly media attention, his television ministry off the air, and now the church he built falling apart, Bob has become understandably angry and isolated, even vulnerable.

Whether Leigh intentionally set out to wreck Bob's first marriage and then split his church is open for speculation. What seems clear is that Leigh is not going away quietly and is willing to sling a little mud in order to get her lunch hooks into Bob's and the church's coffers.